I am so excited for tonight. I get to have a sleepover!
I get to connect with another woman, I get to help her, talk with her, nourish her - with food or companionship. I get to be welcomed into another woman's home, to meet her exactly where she is at. I am not her guest, I do not need to be entertained. I get to hear her describe her birth. I get to hear her describe the first moments of parenthood. I get to hear her describe her feelings. Sometimes, I get to see her ugly cry. I get to see her heart poured open, in joy, or in fear of the unknown, or though the physical act of feeding her baby from her body. I am given trust, to be in her home, to hold her child, to share my experience and knowledge of motherhood. I am allowed to see delicate moments. I am an audience to celebrate small and large victories.I am present to be with this woman as she is learning more about what it means to be a woman. I get to have a sleepover! I get to look into her eyes and see her without her make up. I get to walk the halls with her restless baby. I get to sing lullabies to her child. I get to hear her house creak in the night, have my eyes adjust to the bright light of the bathroom, and wake up the house with the smell of coffee in the morning. I get to help during the times when the other experts all go away. I get to be physically present to support when it feels like there is no one else to call. I get to tell a woman she is an incredible mother. I get to have a sleepover! Being a postpartum doula is not all about changing diapers and caring for a baby. It is about connecting and caring for mothers as they recover from birth and learn. It is about being genuine. It is about being available emotionally and physically. Laundry can get done, bottles can be cleaned, and the baby can be rocked back to sleep - but being a postpartum doula is about the full and genuine recovery of the entire family after the birth experience, and it is centered on the care of the mother. When the mother is looked after, the family can thrive.
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Author:Ariel Swift (she/her) does most of the writing around this blog, but we love having guest writers and visits! Archives
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